“Gardens are a form of autobiography” – says Sydney Eddison. I read this somewhere can’t remember exactly. May be it was one of the questions of Project 137, a group I am currently with, led by author Patti Digh, answering questions on “How to Love Well, Live Fully and Let Go Deeply”. Whilst I am not actively participating online with this tribe, the questions posed are constantly making me think and be acutely aware of how it is that I am growing. My sudden interest in gardening perhaps is a result of that growth.
This has been a very interesting year for me so far and it is coming to an end with an increased pace. Circumstances and chance encounters have shaped this year in a way that relationships that were restricting me have naturally dropped and new friendships have started forming. These new relationships are helping me in taking ownership and recognise and declare authentically who I am, through Writing and Painting and Gardening.
I have learnt to stop apologising or feeling shy of what my skills and talents are and owning them completely and humbly. I am living with an acute and enhanced awareness without an apology.
The circle I was in and worked with extensively in the last 10 years, a highly spiritual institution, contributed to my growth so far and through circumstances that relationship with the administrators has taken a back stage recently, not broken, but my active involvement just faded naturally into the background as a backdrop of a stage. I am eternally grateful for that relationship as it is my formative screen and a richer mosaic is developing on top of it now.
As I reflect, it is becoming obvious that everything we do in life, the good, the bad and the ugly help us to take shape. I am excited and depressed, thrilled and matter of fact, harboring the opposites in me.
Do I need to understand pain to enjoy pleasure?
Do I need to love the unlovable?
Is there such a thing as unlovable?
Isn’t everything in life grotesquely painful and beautifully lovable at the same time?
How do I choose what to do? Do I choose? Should I choose?
This whole journey of life with pain and pleasure walking hand in hand – isn’t it all about me?
Me breaking open my heart
Equally to both pain and pleasure
and let both touch every corner and crevice
and wash my heart
so it always shines purely
with Love and Compassion
under all circumstances
with all people
lovable or otherwise….
Isn’t that Growth?
I ride the waves acutely aware – the sea underneath the waves.
What about you? How has this year shaped you so far? How is it coming to an end? What is growing in your garden of life?
Come and share
Would love to hear your stories…
Until next time
With Love and Respect