Do you feel angry, upset, sad one minute and excited, happy and joyful the next?
Do you feel bored, hopeless one day and full of inspiration and hope the next?
We all do…ride on the emotional roller coaster and go round and round on a regular basis if not on a daily basis. UPpppp we go only to come down and again rise upppppp and come downnnnnnnn.
Over and over, again and again, the thrill that we get of being on that roller coaster is what we call life even though it churns our insides out and almost spills. Most of the time, we catch the spills before they spill, and yet other times we just let the spills out like a broken water hydrant.
We tell ourselves not to feel THAT way, we beg others NOT to feel THAT way, THAT way being – angry, sad, upset, frustrated, jealous, bored, anxious, envious, angry…..on and on it goes like I am here right now.
Can anyone tell us how to or how not to feel? Can we stop ourselves from feeling? I guess we will be 6 feet under, the day we stop feeling.
Feelings are the natural expressions of emotions. We cannot stop having them. No one can tell us how to feel one way or the other. So, why do we have such reactions to our feelings?
If we cannot stop having the feelings, what matters then is what we do with them – does it not?
Our feelings need not be given expression, they can just sit within us as we acknowledge and acept them, certainly other people should not be the targets of our feelings.
As we acknowledge our feelings without judgment, they dissipate. Feelings persist stubbornly because we don’t acknowledge them with complete acceptance. The moment I feel something like anger or jealousy, I tell myself that “I shouldn’t be like that”, or that “it is wrong to feel that way” or “it is not nice to think like that”.
Feelings are like children. When we ask a child “not to do something”, that is the exact thing they attempt to do. Same with feelings. When we say “Don’t feel that way”, the intensity of the feeling increases or gets suppressed and pushed down, never acknowledged and never accepted. When enough layers are built, there will be no room left, so they spill out, usually as attacks on somebody. Once purged, we carry on until the next layers build. We have never processed them properly and given them a rightful place.
Feelings are as natural as breathing. We don’t say it is wrong to breathe heavily, laboriously or smoothly. We accept our changing breathing patterns without questioning. So why don’t we accept our feelings without questioning ‘why’ or putting a judgment on them?
If we accept our feelings without questioning, they disappear as fast as they arise. When I am angry, saying “I am angry” is enough. It doesn’t have to be “angry at..” or “angry because…”.
I always have a choice of how I act or react with my feelings.
Reaction is the unfortunate accepted norm of society. In reaction there is blame and judgment. In action there is acknowledgment, acceptance and compassion. So there is nothing inherently wrong in feelings. It is how we express them that causes conflict – conflict within ourselves and with others.
Feelings arise. We accept the feeling that has risen with no judgment. Solutions appear.
Creation happens from acceptance.
Acceptance requires Self-Love.
Do you love yourself enough to acknowledge your rising feelings without judgment and guilt or ridicule…
Next time you are feeling whatever — angry, sad, upset, anxious – try just saying “I am (feeling word)” and accept it completely without naming and blaming the cause or the causer and see what happens… You will be surprised.
Would you like to try? I would love to hear the results. Share them here.
Until next week…
With Love and Respect